Self Care, Are you Doing Enough For YOU!

 

    By Ebony IG: @ebunnie24
    Hey Y’all! Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving, the break was much-needed from work or school. One down and one more to go for this year. Can you believe it we are already at the end 2018? And heading into a new year, if this is not true for you, I can only speak for myself it is happening fast. Right now We are in that position of being between two holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas the season of giving. If it’s through affirmations, gifts or acts of service. At this point everyone should already be in a habit of giving.  And finding it rewarding. Though giving is a good thing and we could take the time out to focus on that I would like to remind you Do Not Forget About Yourself! I understand we as  people tend to fall victum to giving yourself whole heartedly without returns, and also tarpped in needing  approval of others, to be known as having our stuff together or just out of pure competition of other people.  Here are a few things we can reflect over to assure we are confidently moving out of a posture of Gods identity about us this season. By taking care of yourself too.

For me I have started incorporating a few things in my weeks routine that I have found helpful in me remain focused on what God has for me, helps me reset my feelings and really grasp the fact that I enjoy certain things and that is what makes me, me. This season I’m getting familiar with my identity and loving me for just that.

Gym/Exercise -I have been finding peace in the gym, it is proven facts that staying active helps with our mental standing, our thoughts. Many people suffer from depression in silence, and with this addition if can be improved some. Increased energy and relief of stress and improved mood. Theres just a natrual condidence in you when you feel good about your health and making great stides to be coming a more healthier you.

Appearance/Hygiene- No! I was not walking around without bathing or with my hair unkept, but I did just the basics. I have recently started adding facial mask to my routine at least once a week, it makes me sit still take a breather, think, and plan my next move.  I started treating myself to getting my nails done just another treat it’s great to feel pampered. My next challenge is at least monthly to create a look and go take pictures in my city, take time to put on an outfit that best fits your personality and your best make up look and have a photo shoot. There is nothing like capturing your confidence! You deserve it. This improves self-esteem for sure!

Finances-  At one point for a while I felt all I did was work come home and the money would be already going out just to stay afloat monthly. It felt like a cycle, and cycles especially unhealthy ones need to be broken. So, this year I took a stand to gain discipline in this area too. Still a work in progress. But stated he has given us power of all things and that includes this too. My goal is to tell my money where its to go and have it work for me. Move from the old ways of handling it and into a few new ways with Gods creative input. Pay myself an allowance each pay period. Set back money monthly in my savings. One of the creative ideas God had for me this year to make this possible, was giving up my own place and move in with my bestfriend, this will place us both on a journey of financial freedom. At first it was a disappointment. I questioned, why is it I can’t make it on my own, totally on my own. Now with knowing who I am and what Gods called me to do. He reminded me I never intended you to do anything on your own. And this move though it may seem not normal in the eyes of society, I never called you to fit in, so take this journey with me. Talk about humbling step WHHOOOAA! but i made it.  I can now look back over 2018 and say Lord if you had not arranged this for me I would not have been able to be a part of many things you have done this year. Financially I would not have been able to cover it. I see you working God, and I will continue trusting you.

Isaiah 40:31

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings Like eagles. The will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Isaiah 41:10

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Luke 10: 19-20

Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don’t rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven.

As life may seem to be going at full speed and demanding of you every minute. Find time. Make time, and do something for yourself, pour into you. So, in return you can truly give to others from a divine posture. For he has called us to reachh out to his people, but you need to love you and have the energy to do so. Continue resting and know God is moving on your behalf.

 

 

Is there a Reason to be Thankful

BY EBONY IG:@ebunnie24

Thanksgiving is fast approaching. It’s the time we tend to reflect on all the good things God has done for us; gains, new beginnings and family. A time when we highlight the good in our lives. What if you’re not where you want to be yet? You feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders. Are you feeling confused, unfocused, or forgotten?? During my Devotionals this week I have been directed to shift negative thoughts and perspectives, regarding the struggles, and habits we all go through. Can we be thankful for our not so good seasons in life too?? What good can be found in them?

There are many of time we are at points of desperation, loneliness, and confusion. But why? This cannot be God’s purpose or will for our life….. Right?

I know oh to well the feelings of “this cannot be happening to me” or “again I have to start all over” maybe even “man, why is it I never have enough” I think we all can relate to feeling this way and saying a few words like this to friends or even God at times. If we could change the outlook toward those questions I wonder if we would be moved differently,  if we would still operate from the same posture we have been up to this point. Let’s try it out:

  • By this happening to me God what is it that you are trying to show me? What am I to learn form this? God utilize this time to continue drawing me closer to you.
  • With this new beginning, Lord how would you direct my first steps?
  • Lord I know you are a God of provision, continue to guide me in using what you have provided to me. Thank you. Even for what I don’t see currently.  

Shift your mindset. Break an old habit of thinking for a newer one. Interrupting a pattern. Keeping God at the center of our language and life changes the dynamics of our perspectives, and most likely our outcomes too.

I can think back to one of my recent rants this year, I asked God “what about me” I pour out, I set up, and I serve. But what about me? When will I be invited, where do I go to get poured into? They only answer I got was. “Ebony continue doing what I asked of you and find peace in it. For I am in the midst.” I had to redirect my focus on what I am learning in the current season; improving my communication skills, being able to confidently share my story, utilizing Gods language on a daily, devoting a routine every day to giving God time everyday simply drawing me closer to him for his purpose and will.

2 Cor 12:9-10

Each time he said,” My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weakness.” So that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ =. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Just reflecting that moment I had. I was full of raw emotions and moved by them too. But that’s not Christian of me. I am working to move from a posture of Faith. Confidently believing what God has for me is for my good he promises to protect and provide for me even when I don’t see it. Am happy to report I have not given up, I have been redirecting my thoughts daily still, and serving him. And have been doing so from a great place of Joy and Peace. Over the past week God has set up such great unions, opportunities for encouragement, refreshments, and additional mentorship.

This weekend the Ladies of Lavender Lemonade had the opportunity to have brunch, one of the refreshing unions God set up with Angela if you don’t know her now, get ready, she is on a mission to change that language here in our DFW area, in how women commune with each other. With judgment free events, to empower and love on each other. Angela is the founder of  Ever Evolving Women, a networking group that is created to change the narrative of Sisterhood by bringing women of all ages and cultures together authentically. Located here in the DFW area. Our visit was much need as stories and goals were shared laughter filled the place it just felt so right. God in any season know what you need and when you need it most.

EEWpic

Go check out Angela and her mission,

Ever Evolving Women- DFW, TX

Linktr.ee/everevolvingwomen

IG: @everevolvingwomen

It’s My Birthday!!

This month last year I decided. I made the choice. I took the stand not to settle for ordinary, to stop moving based off feelings a place of self-effort. It may seem so simply and maybe even small to others, but this month 2017 God made things and placed emphasize on activities in my life to me. Let me paint the picture.

I had been in a relationship with Dude on and off for 5 years, we decided to move in together as it would “benefit” both parties financially and we’re always together anyways. My mistake. There I went, Ms. BA in Social Work ready to solve and gain all resource to any issue, I seen. Fast forward to my birthday month October 2017 God was already moving and working in me making me uncomfortable in the current situation I was in since around May yet I shrugged it off  “we have come this far, we can work it out” not this month God showed it to me like a movie. And it still replays for me clear as day.

I was given the opportunity to celebrate my birthday 2016 with church family as they celebrated our pastor’s birthday they included me in the celebration and song  I was made to feel special, welcomed and wanted. Nothing I can truly say now looking back, that I had in my current relationship.  Back to October 2017 I had a choice to make this year, God clearly stated you cannot pick both sides this time. Either you stay where you are currently. Or will you rock with me full heartedly? This year the church decided to celebrate our pastor’s birthday on my actual birthday weekend. And like a dummy I chose to stay with Dude who has never celebrated me on this day or any other. Even though my church family has. I PLACED MY HOPE IN THE WRONG THING!  When word got back to me that my name was on the cake and people where looking for me. It hurt, it pierced my heart left a life changing scar I felt even smaller than before. How could I let down family that had my best interest at hand? How could I stand up friends moving in the same direction as me, and have an understanding of faith behind God’s love for each of us, Just how? What kind of person had I become?  What life have I SETTLED for? This cannot be it, this cannot be my purpose! And just as expected, and yet again ignored, Dude had nothing planned for me to do that day not even a meaningful gift. That was it my mind was made up God. I’d describe this as God is  stirring, his works in my life, he is coming back alive in me. I started dreaming again, it was like an awaking had happened inside of me. Sleeping Beauty, it’s time for you to wake God whispered.

From then on I vowed never to miss out again on anything especially if God is at the center.  Since then things have change for the better I am no longer in that Situationship, what I thought I lost the Lord has blessed me more than double in godly friendships. Yes, I’m still waiting for my Mr. Right but I understand it’s not worth risking my peace, joy and purpose to have it right now. ‘IT” being any relationship I can muster up in self-effort. You all know where to find me this October 2018, that’s right celebrating life with the ones I love the most, my family and my friends As God continues to show himself marvelous in 2018. He is not done yet and I’m excited to see what’s in store.

Chapter 31 here I come. Happy Birthday to Me!

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Love Languages…..

Song of Solomon 4:1

You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words your eyes like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.

As I explored the book Songs of Solomon, songs written by King Solomon during his reign expressing love between a married couple this week as a devotional in which the passage above was pulled. I reflected on how I would love someone to say and think highly of me, to be detailed and confident that works for me. Oh, how nice that would be. I am sure I would hold myself to an even higher standard. I would even hold my head high.

I guess I am just waiting on my turn? Where is he at lord? Why hasn’t this happened for me yet? Time is ticking you do see that right God?

And like a whisper a few days later God spoke to my heart and stated why wait? Why are you looking for someone else to say and think this way of you? It’s something you struggle with daily in how you see and view yourself? How will you know what anyone else is saying about you if you don’t have an understanding and clarity of the love language for yourself to yourself? Will you know if it’s real or heart-felt? That can lead to deception again.  Are you prepared to stand firm on Man’s words or God’s word?

To be totally transparent I have recently been struggling with accepting compliments, and positive affirmation from others:

  • I appreciate you
  • I am proud of you
  • I couldn’t do this without you

I always say to myself; they are just saying that, I can always be replaced, there is some one better, this can’t be for me, I don’t deserve it, ah they are just saying that to make me feel good in this moment. But as I continue to build character within myself.

MY GOALS:

  1. To get in a place I can respond with more than just a thank you to any positive words provided to me. Thank you is just so generic to me it’s a comfort and cheap go to phrase.
  2. Be able to remind myself daily of Gods promises and thoughts of me, to deflect any negative thoughts in any moment.

We all yearn, desire, and at times expect those words and praises from other people but never take the time out and acknowledge them within ourselves.

What are your strengths, your beauty, or purpose? What has God said about you that you can know without any doubt are true.

Take the time and remember; take the act of reattaching God’s words to yourself:

Matt 5:3-12

The Beatitudes

“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,[a]
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,[b]
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.