The day I had to say bye to Social Media …

-By Ebony, IG: @ebunnie24

Just for a moment I had to step away from social media platforms. With every posted picture comment or share, it was a reminder of what I have yet to check off my list of accomplishments. And what has not happened for me yet. Social media can easily be a tool that works against us and our positive thinking if we allow it and  don’t check ourselves at the door.  When I should have been celebrating with someone or inspired by something I felt myself becoming agitated and frustrated. And with those feelings came other feelings of misplacement, lack, unsuccessfulness and so on.

As the weekend progressed I was reminded my timeline is not everyone else’s timeline, and that agitation and frustration are choices!! They are responses and we can control. There are typically bigger and deeper seeded issues in which we are responding to, not the situation at hand.

Proverbs 16:9

We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.

What are my issues then?? I guess it would be good to identify them, so I can align what I may see as a need or lack in my eyes. Learn to align it to what God says about me and my “need” so I can respond from a posture of certainty, in knowing what God says is true of me.

I’m not sure if I shared it before but the two biggest dreams in my life is to have a family of my own, husband kids and to be in a place of financial success just above having just enough.  That’s all I wanted. Every other dream well it can or doesn’t have to happen if I have those two. God that’s a good enough deal. Right!

Just thinking and talking about money, debt and credit brings some slight discomfort for me, I remember habits, cycles and situations of my family from my childhood that I vowed would never happen to me and my family I will do what I must make sure of it! I found it a struggle to move from the posture of just enough of something to a place of overflow and increase.

Well I don’t have the family yet, and I’m working to maintain and improve my finances currently. I’m not at the point of being able to travel where I want when I want but I have made it to the point I can do what I want when I want with fewer guidelines in the name of treating myself LOL. I’m working on that too.

I have identified myself as falling in-between Expectations and Reality,

For just the dreams god has places on my heart, he reminded me he must be present and to do so I must make him manager not myself. And as he is manager it’s his expectations I need to see my life through.

God has open many doors placing me in positions and giving me opportunities to further myself career wise. Plans for multiple incomes if I were to see it that way. Addressing any suspicion regarding finances. Or I could just state “But God I didn’t ask you for that.” I have had the option to add mentors and accountability partners to my support to help me along my journey. So, I can have the results financial that I have asked from him.

God has placed me in relationships with others to improve my skills in maintaining any relationships obtained while on my wait for a husband. How can you expect to maintain anything without the skills? Communication, Endurance, Listening etc.  If only I see it that way. Opportunity to be a leader to grow confident in his words and works so I can be used for his glory.

Lord I refocus my eye on you, and your plan you have for me. Continue to transform my perspective to be more like yours. I thank you in advance for what you have in store for me.  Thank you for going ahead of me with protection and provision, pathing the way for me. I will continue saying Yes and Amen to your will and not mine. 

Jude 1:24-25

Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault. All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time and in the present and beyond all time! Amen

What’s your current perspective on your current position in life?

How are you responding?

 

 

Stolen Gifts …

By Ebony Eugene IG: @ebunnie24

This week I found myself in a bind. I was excited as my week started, I am in a great position lately in my relationships, my finances my spirit man, over all just good vibes. Like I explained to the ladies I had gifts for them and was excited to see their reactions and smiles just pure joy. It was a gift for me to be in the position to give as it was a gift for them to receive. But that opportunity was taken from me when someone went into my car and stole them. Some would say it’s my fault you did leave your door unlocked. Others would agree, yes you should be upset. And only if you know who it was I know you would have something to say and would react.

But the crazy thing is I couldn’t stay mad too long as God spoke to me he asked it doesn’t feel good does it when gifts you have in place for someone are taken away does it? I give gifts daily and they are taken from me, they are not able to reach the full potential that I had anticipated for them. Due to circumstance, influence of other people, and situations. What are some gifts that I give?

Galatians 5:22-23

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against these things.

So, let me ask you,

What are you currently experiencing?

Who are you entertaining?

What has happened to you in your past?

Are you feeling or siding with your sinful nature, hostility, selfishness, jealousy, impurity, and or division? How many of these traits do we revert to as a response to the lack of power or control in your lives? Are they the only way to respond? Are our responses misuse of God’s gifts?

Just as life continues we will be place in situations, circumstances and around people who put us in positions to choose to work through our spiritual gifts. Stay motivated and committed to continue moving within that posture. As Gods plans are bigger than anything we can imagine. And it’s not just affecting us as Gods gifts are also for us to share with others.

Galatians 5:13

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brother and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead use your freedom to serve one another in love.

Hey share in the comments some ways you reflect that helps you to choose daily to work through your spiritual gifts and not sinful nature?

It’s My Birthday!!

This month last year I decided. I made the choice. I took the stand not to settle for ordinary, to stop moving based off feelings a place of self-effort. It may seem so simply and maybe even small to others, but this month 2017 God made things and placed emphasize on activities in my life to me. Let me paint the picture.

I had been in a relationship with Dude on and off for 5 years, we decided to move in together as it would “benefit” both parties financially and we’re always together anyways. My mistake. There I went, Ms. BA in Social Work ready to solve and gain all resource to any issue, I seen. Fast forward to my birthday month October 2017 God was already moving and working in me making me uncomfortable in the current situation I was in since around May yet I shrugged it off  “we have come this far, we can work it out” not this month God showed it to me like a movie. And it still replays for me clear as day.

I was given the opportunity to celebrate my birthday 2016 with church family as they celebrated our pastor’s birthday they included me in the celebration and song  I was made to feel special, welcomed and wanted. Nothing I can truly say now looking back, that I had in my current relationship.  Back to October 2017 I had a choice to make this year, God clearly stated you cannot pick both sides this time. Either you stay where you are currently. Or will you rock with me full heartedly? This year the church decided to celebrate our pastor’s birthday on my actual birthday weekend. And like a dummy I chose to stay with Dude who has never celebrated me on this day or any other. Even though my church family has. I PLACED MY HOPE IN THE WRONG THING!  When word got back to me that my name was on the cake and people where looking for me. It hurt, it pierced my heart left a life changing scar I felt even smaller than before. How could I let down family that had my best interest at hand? How could I stand up friends moving in the same direction as me, and have an understanding of faith behind God’s love for each of us, Just how? What kind of person had I become?  What life have I SETTLED for? This cannot be it, this cannot be my purpose! And just as expected, and yet again ignored, Dude had nothing planned for me to do that day not even a meaningful gift. That was it my mind was made up God. I’d describe this as God is  stirring, his works in my life, he is coming back alive in me. I started dreaming again, it was like an awaking had happened inside of me. Sleeping Beauty, it’s time for you to wake God whispered.

From then on I vowed never to miss out again on anything especially if God is at the center.  Since then things have change for the better I am no longer in that Situationship, what I thought I lost the Lord has blessed me more than double in godly friendships. Yes, I’m still waiting for my Mr. Right but I understand it’s not worth risking my peace, joy and purpose to have it right now. ‘IT” being any relationship I can muster up in self-effort. You all know where to find me this October 2018, that’s right celebrating life with the ones I love the most, my family and my friends As God continues to show himself marvelous in 2018. He is not done yet and I’m excited to see what’s in store.

Chapter 31 here I come. Happy Birthday to Me!

birthdaypic

 

 

Love Languages…..

Song of Solomon 4:1

You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words your eyes like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead.

As I explored the book Songs of Solomon, songs written by King Solomon during his reign expressing love between a married couple this week as a devotional in which the passage above was pulled. I reflected on how I would love someone to say and think highly of me, to be detailed and confident that works for me. Oh, how nice that would be. I am sure I would hold myself to an even higher standard. I would even hold my head high.

I guess I am just waiting on my turn? Where is he at lord? Why hasn’t this happened for me yet? Time is ticking you do see that right God?

And like a whisper a few days later God spoke to my heart and stated why wait? Why are you looking for someone else to say and think this way of you? It’s something you struggle with daily in how you see and view yourself? How will you know what anyone else is saying about you if you don’t have an understanding and clarity of the love language for yourself to yourself? Will you know if it’s real or heart-felt? That can lead to deception again.  Are you prepared to stand firm on Man’s words or God’s word?

To be totally transparent I have recently been struggling with accepting compliments, and positive affirmation from others:

  • I appreciate you
  • I am proud of you
  • I couldn’t do this without you

I always say to myself; they are just saying that, I can always be replaced, there is some one better, this can’t be for me, I don’t deserve it, ah they are just saying that to make me feel good in this moment. But as I continue to build character within myself.

MY GOALS:

  1. To get in a place I can respond with more than just a thank you to any positive words provided to me. Thank you is just so generic to me it’s a comfort and cheap go to phrase.
  2. Be able to remind myself daily of Gods promises and thoughts of me, to deflect any negative thoughts in any moment.

We all yearn, desire, and at times expect those words and praises from other people but never take the time out and acknowledge them within ourselves.

What are your strengths, your beauty, or purpose? What has God said about you that you can know without any doubt are true.

Take the time and remember; take the act of reattaching God’s words to yourself:

Matt 5:3-12

The Beatitudes

“God blesses those who are poor and realize their need for him,[a]
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.
God blesses those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
God blesses those who are humble,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice,[b]
for they will be satisfied.
God blesses those who are merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
God blesses those whose hearts are pure,
for they will see God.
God blesses those who work for peace,
for they will be called the children of God.
10 God blesses those who are persecuted for doing right,
for the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs.

11 “God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. 12 Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.